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Fitness advice, articles, inspiration.

A Story Like No Other…

I’m going to tell you a little fictional story…

…bare with me, it’s far-fetched and a scenario only a seriously strange mind like mine could concoct, but here goes, just imagine this…

  • what if I prime minister and his team (lets call them Joris Bohnson and his Rory Party) ordered us to isolate in our homes for 5-6 months?
  • what if the pubs, cinemas, eateries, gyms, schools and KFC all had to close?
  • what if it was all being blamed on someone eating a bat at other side of the world, with a side salad of 5G, New World Order and other Conspiracy Theories thrown into the mix?
  • how would you train with no or minimal fitness equipment available, with Amazon and the like sold out of gear?

Let’s pretend this day is June 25th 2020…

…and I like many others have not made any meaningful physical contact with the outside world since March 2020, and it looks like this will not change anytime soon! (or will it!?)

Despite this, what should we name it… ‘Lockdown?’ – there are peaceful relevant protests going on, as well as not so peaceful riots and looting, around the world.

Now, in this crazy time all the famous people, celebrities and social media stars have suddenly jumped on a new platform called – errr…Tik Tok… and are trying to out-do each other in the shock and idiotism stakes.

From Anthony Hopkins to Bruce Willis to Amanda Holden to GymWolfPT – they can all be found Tik-Toking their time way from the comfort of their luxury homes.

Luckily for them they have the home gym, the home cinema and the swimming pool.

Now, in this massively fictionized tale I, the GymWolfPT, am also one of the lucky ones and have a collection of fitness equipment at home that turns Total Fitness green with envy!

And this means the power is with me, I have the potential to come out of this lockdown as a shredded, bald headed, fully leaded beast!

Unfortunately, on this Sunday of writing, such a sensible and productive story didn’t get my creative juices flowing!

Therefore, I decide to spend my lockdown in a drunken stupor fuelled by wine, beer and stodgy food that is always available in the shops even when the panic buying kicks in!

Now, when the story goes down this path of doom and gloom, it’s going to take more than a quiz on Zoom to enlighten the room…

And like any good storyteller, I’m going to sprinkle a little wolf dust on this tale to create heroes who flourish in this damn crazy scenario!

I’m going to make YOU the hero of this Lockdown blockbuster, with your very own Oscar waiting for you at a gym, pub or venue of your choice.

You with me? (I’m not sure I am!)

Then lets set the scene with the 3 objectives our hero is going to follow to win the day, get the girl/guy, save the world…..sorry, I’m getting carried away…to come out of this as the best and most effective human being they can…

Hero Objective One: Don’t Do Harm…

nothing silly

Things are different, and as a result you’re going to have to do different things…..BUT

Different doesn’t mean dangerous, stupid or reckless – health and fitness isn’t like Tik Tok!

You suddenly find yourself working out from home or outdoors rather than the gym, and this can be done in an efficient, safe and enjoyable way.

However, it can also be done the complete opposite – as the gym leash is taken off and you can try all the things you was scared to do in the gym for fear of face-planting in a packed environment!

The warm-up and cool-down goes out the window, the ‘one-legged reverse pistol squat jump to plank‘ begin and you end up in A&E with a dislocated knee!

So, this is certainly a time to try new things, and create a new plan – but do so in a way that works for you, your body and your health!

Hero Objective Two: Action The Art of Adaption…

you must adapt

New levels bring new devils – and we’ve got to mould that horny red fella into our helper rather than our hinderer!

When the lockdown hit there was a clamber for resistance bands, dumbbells, barbells and other home fitness equipment only surpassed by the clamber for toilet rolls.

As a result many missed out, and if you are one of those – don’t despair, become a master in the art of adaption (this art will serve you throughout you life!)

  • Don’t have a barbell to do bench press…bring a whole range of push-ups into your training (wide grip, narrow grip, diamond grip…)
  • Don’t have equipment to do weighted squats…change to bodyweight split squats, pistol squats and chair based squats
  • Don’t have equipment for pressing…try handstands, headstands, chair dips

If you approach this with an open mind and a willingness to find a solution, you will find it.

If you approach this as a ‘ready made excuse’ for not working out, then you’ve got a great excuse no doubt!

No, wait – there is no excuse – I’m going to let you on my 31-Day Challenge to whip that rug from under you!!!

Hero Objective Three: Make Time For Relaxation…

how to relax

Life is hard, and there are always plenty of challenges and events just lining up to beat your ass – so DO NOT beat yourself up, ever!

You are going to see, hear and have it ‘shoved down your throat’…the people who are ‘loving the lockdown’, who are doing amazing things and whom it’s super easy and just naturally flows well for.

Seeing these people ‘living an amazing lockdown adventure’ can make you feel a failure or even more stressed when the kids won’t do their home schooling work, you’re struggling to keep things together and each day is a 5 setter against Roger Federer!

Don’t let Mark, Sarah and Rupert make you feel bad.

If feelings of confusion, anxiousness and sadness are creeping in or have landed like a whale in a swimming pool, then maybe the best thing  for you to do right now is… not too much – please don’t beat yourself up.

It could be time to go for a…

  •  long slow walk
  •  relaxed cycle
  •  hot foamy bath with some soothing music

Or how about jumping on a Zoom call with your crew or troupe!

But hey – what do I know – this is just a silly far-fetched story.

I’ve just been to the gym, and am getting ready to go for a large juicy steak in my favourite restaurant!

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